she was so not down for the gang bang
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
