Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
