I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
