She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
