Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
