I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think I am morally bankrupt
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
