But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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