Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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