the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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