so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think I am morally bankrupt
I feel like abortions should bother me more
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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