I'm really into asian looking animals
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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