haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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