Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We need to get me chipped asap
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
