I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Hippo gnu deer
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
