Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
