I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
