I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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