Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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