I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
