Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
