But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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