I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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