it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
