watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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