There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
