Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
