I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
