tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
