i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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