It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
