i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
