I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
