Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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