I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
