Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
