ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
