Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
