hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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