I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
