Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
