No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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