I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
