what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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