Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."

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(519): View more from Ontario

dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way

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(519): View more from Ontario

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy

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(706): View more from Georgia

Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start

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(203): View more from Connecticut

My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.

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