that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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