you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
