Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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