i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
