Don't you send me to vm
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
