Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

if i can run in heels then i can drive

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(312): View more from Illinois

You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?

Fav 23 926 2203
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(856): View more from New Jersey

You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.

Fav 14 1693 6154
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(310): View more from California

Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.

Fav 30 2019 4783
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(301): View more from Maryland

Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools

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(859): View more from Kentucky

the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.

Fav 9 2174 2436
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(309): View more from Illinois

Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex

Fav 5 388 815
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(914): View more from New York

I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts

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